♥

06 November at 21:52

bye byee 2009

I've been dragged into a family event, luckly so has my bestfriend so things will be great. i plan to start drinking early, infact i just text my friends:
'we need to drink 2009 away'
to be more spesific i texts this to my bestfriends, all of whom joined the group 'i made a big mistake in 2009'

but the thing is; this years been pretty damn good, and fucking horrible.


'um maybe you um want to um, go out, like um now'
'now, i have plans'
'well um i'll um call you later um then'


red nose day, our fail at St Trinians.
still think me and janelle should have been barbies.


summersummersummer.
Greece was good, But june was bad.
I wouldnt change it though.


Belgium. Was it worth it?
Well, at least i can say i got fucked (alcoholically Nabi) on a school tip- plus i got closer to these two. So yeahhh.


Our last Christmas together as a group, before Janelle and Hayley and maybe more fuck off.
and a classic Nicole vs Jade fight.


Drunk at sashas and the only photo i have of Me and Ellie together- i wish i'd known her better.


Rachaels idea. It always is.

vodka vodka rabbits vodka twins vodka Callum Pilgrim

amen.

♥

Boudicca

'Its always darkest before the dawn. But things are going to be just dandy, i promise. Warrior Queen, you're looking fierce.'



and you think fashion is just about clothes?

words

this is meant to go on facebook, but the girl i got it from i dont like, so y'knowwww :)

1): fuck - used 24 times
2): good - used 14 times
3): rachael - used 13 times
4): please - used 11 times
5): janelle - used 11 times
6): tech - used 10 times
7): off - used 10 times
8): english - used 10 times
9): love - used 10 times
10): really - used 8 times


shows a lot right?

this has been done before..

But oh well:

Happy Birthday Eleanor, we miss you ♥

hello

i'm typing this slightly tipsy, i feel ill on seven diffeent types of levels.
seriously, so s so so ill.
i love rosi9e, she da bombbb ;)
you knowww.

,

hey, look at that

i bounced back.

I love you

So, in an effort to aviod revison, i did this all day.. voila:



there was another one, but maybe photobuket knows that its not a good idea to make 'movies' when your mad.. either way it wouldn't let me upload it..

i'll try again later

Holy Fuck

you made me cry?

i didnt evem cry when it went all wrong, i didnt even cry back in June, June for fuck sake.
but this litte thing,
i just kept staring at it
and a couple of tears fell down.

and now a lot.

oh my.

What are the chances

I'll end up in Australia/ he'll come to England?
Christmas miricle anyone?

Humbug,
still waiting for my break big guy..

fuck meee

you've changed..


we need to get back in touch.

give me a fricken break

i get it, the enitre worlds in love.
you dont need to rub it in my face, cunts.

ahhhhhhhhh

thats so cute, and i helped you like her. if you get what i mean..
cute cute cute.

I should totally start a business.

hahaa

everything seems better in the morning.

ohhh

Heres an idea.
I rescue myslef?

might as well try, theres no one else who can, or better still:
they'res poeple who can help, but i dont want them to.

ungrateful little shit, i know.

I need to vent

so happy, innocent, christmasy poeple look away..



*you, seriously, wtf, the very concept of our friendship is laughable. Your just, just, selfish. seriously man try asking a question to about me. i've gone past giving up on you, but maintaned our friendhsip to the last. I feel the last is dawning.
*And you. Its gotten to the point were i hope he'll break your heart, just so you'll shut up. And i know that sounds bad, but trust me, your worse.
*then theres me. left dealing with everyones 'shit' and everyones 'problems'
where has that left me?
resentful.

i'm at the point were i honestly, i dont know. i just dont know. i back to sqaure one again, i'm back to my old saying.. back to 'somethings got to give'






i want to be rescued.




ew, too much weakness in that sentence.

oh my

i love you so much.

that being said, i dont care about your problems.

Well thats annoying

Humpty dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty dumpty had a great fall
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
told him to man the fuck up and be grateful again.

but still.


its not fair.

Shes blates a Watford girl, initt.

I fricken love Rachael Lizzy Smith ♥

Ho Ho Ho

it snowed today, yeah boy.
And i spent the day with Sophia and Sam and Co instead of Rachael and Steph and Co.
Which was okay by me because i still dislike Jorden. he is le prickk, ouii.

cause i don't become obsessed with television characters..

THANK YOU TELEVISION POEPLE FOR GIVING NATHEN IMMORTALITY. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.



in my defence hes peng

Thats so 2007,

no 2006? and 2007, and 2008, and June. wow June was shit.



How shit. seriously when did it become normal for someone to experiecne serious shittiness? Its almost like a competition, like it adds something to your character?
Stupid.
But lets look back over some of the problems i've come into contact with directly or indirectly:
Bullying, eating disorder, low-self esteem, more bulling, pregnancy, another eating disorder, insomnia, low-self esteem, more pregnancy, parents-who-arn't-quite-right, parents-who-just-arn't-there, lonliness, near-self-harming, low-self esteem, an-incident-with-some-pills and low self esteem.
And i'm pretty sure you guys reading this have experience similar things, no?
When did these things become so common?


blahhhh, where did all the prefect poeple go?
Does perfect even exist?



IS PERSONIFIED IN LAUREN LANDON??

I joke, too much time spent with sophiaa + Co ♥

Mmm

Somehow i just managed to follow myself?

Shush i'm ill.

dead girl walking

OH NOOO MY GRANDMAS BACK IN THE VILLAGE AND SHE WILL PROBS HEAR ABOUT ME AND THINGY COZ ITS REALLY REALLY SMALL AND POEPLE GOSSIP AND SHES GONNA BEAT MEEEEEEEEEE.



can't wait for greece this year ;)

I hope my dreams stay cloudy

'when your grandmother has a dream, you shut up a listen'

Nothing as exciting as rediscovering your lost sister. Just my Grandad wants me to study more, not even an 'or else' at the end. Which is good for me, but not as intresting for you.

16 facts for 16 years

I just realised that theirs little real information about me, on my blog, its mainly about other poeple, on my blog. You seeing the problem? I think i should rectify this a little, give the poeple what they want i.e meeeeee
Haa, well some random entertianment at the very least,
hey you might learn we have more in common
or not.





1)If i'm angery/sad/lonely/happy/lazy/relaxed/in pain/any other endless emotion.. it always seems to Lead to Nutella.
When i'm eating it out of the jar then you know its bad.
2) I am Laziness personified
3) I say my favourite colour is purple but i change my mind a lot - deep brown, deep red, dark purple.. i guess i like the colours that keep me warm.
4) I secretly like Hollister but wouldn't be caught dead in something so unoriginal
5)I don't know what i want
6) I doubt myself a lot
7) I will hate you if can not own up to your mistakes
8) I will equally hate you if you can not stand up for what you believe it
9) I do have some twisted form of faith- blame my Grandmother
10) The idea that me and the world i know and the poeple i know will all one day decomse and fade into the pages of history scares me. quite a bit.
11) I have my fingerscrossed for life after death
12) I have my fingerscrossed i'm not going to hell
13) I kinda sorta sometimes superstious
14) Beautiful is something i strive to be, but i think i'd rather be ugly than boring, but beauty over brains, wait, i lie
15) Oh fuck it, as long as i'm skinny its all good
16) Ever see Bruce Almighty? The most romantic thing i could think of is someone recreating the scence where hes carved his name + hers in a heart in every tree along her jogging route. Okay so its no exactly like that, but watch it and you'll see


(keep in mind that its 2 am and i dont care if this is grammatically incorrect or spelt incorrect)

guess what

i don't care i don't care i don't care i don't care i don't care i don't care i don't care i don't care i don't care i don't care i don't care i don't care i don't care i don't care i don't care i don't care i don't care i don't care i don't care i don't care i don't care i don't care i don't care i don't care

If i had a penny everytime i heard these words spoken i would be Holidaying in the Greek islands rather than the shitty main land

Fuck.

One month since you left.

Ahhhh

A friendship that has spanned years, and 3 different schools.
I was their when you got your ears peirced,
hid Chocolate from your mum,
fell out your window..

Little did i know...

That me and Sasha Falulah Miles didn't just share a friendship...




BUT A DRUNKEN BOND!!!!
ahhh love love love for the drunkeness and youuuu ♥♥♥

What came first, sex or marrige?

Pretty sure God invented us in his form,
And we we're having sex way before humans invented the process of marrige.. So the concept of marrige before sex is wrong?

Honestly who wrote the bible, they got it all wrong, idoitt.







Does it make sense that i believe in god, but not in the bible?

la la laaaaaaa

I predict trouble for the end of this week.
I still maintane that there wouldn't be a problem if my parents just fucked off and left me alone.
Rightt? If they just kept out of my business, then they wouldn't know about my drinking/ 19 year old/ failing at school
and everyone would be hapzzzzzzzz.
As it is i'm going to be screwed overrr, theirs no way i can produce a year of coursework in a week.

'la la laaaaaaaa, somethimes, you just gotta laugh'

='(

I'm missing all the drunken nights out.






fml.

I love the little things that don't last

I love finding a new song i never knew, i love it when i'm supprised, i love realising that you have more in commen with a person then you knew, i love the beginnings of a relationship, i love it when someone trusts you with a secret, i love it when your jelious, i love it when someone realises what i'm saying, i love it when i realise what someone else saying, i love the rain, i love horoscopes, i love things that are different, i love the effects of vodka, i love you.

I'm setting myself up for failure.
But its so much fun.

Babyblueee

In advance i apologise. I forgave the others a long time ago, i now need you to know. I just want you to see. That all i ever wanted.


A lot of the time, i hear, or read about 'lost friendships' and how 'no one cares' or how upset poeple are, cause 'your growing apart' . But in the end of the day, you do most likely have someone trying to be your friend, trying to get through to you. You just don't want that person to try.
Seriously, i'm tired of your bitching. Take it from a person who really did have no one, a long time ago, i reached out to you. I ask for your help, and you we're all too busy in your own worlds to help me. I'm writing this too the people who read my blog, honestly i can't make this clearer who i'm talking about unless i spelled your names out. i want you to know something...
I asked for your help, you didn't see me, you had a year to notice, thats how long it went on. You didn't care, you didn't try to see what i was telling you. the only person who did, is a loud, annoying, attention-seeking chav.
I bet you considered yourself better than her until then didnt you.

Please, think about it honestly, if it was you, and you saw what was happening, would you have the courage to stand up for me? Or would you have watch silently, knowing it was wrong, but glad it wasn't you...

Google it if your not sure..

'Swallow or spit -spit, you know how many calories there are when you swallow!'



Business studies...Janelle, Rachael, Me. We go deep. ♥

I have a bad feeling

I think this ones down to nature. And desire.