Crisis over. kinda.

Sorry for scaring y'all: if you did read that post last night and were slightly worried. My cousin was so i told her what happened; she was furious the word 'low life' and 'scum' was tossed around.
I feel that’s a bit harsh even though it isn’t.

I don't know how to explain it, I know I’m not reacting the way any normal person would. I should be angry. I should be upset. Its just, 'you made your bed now lie in it' springs to mind. You choose him, everyone told you not to. I'm not even angery at her - okay this might be confusing: in this story there are two her's and one him, the 'her' is the one you should hate. Except i don't hate her, i can't even master up a nasty nickname.

Anyway, she's forgiven him and she’s happy. So who am I to judge?




Whats wrong with me?

Biggest Regret in Life

Smoking my emergency fag.

Good Gossip

Something big just happened.
Might have happened.
Probably did happen.

Its not a good thing. In fact its a veryveryvery bad thing. I just told my two best friends: they were devastated for me. I'm ok. Maybe because i saw it coming? I had my suspicions you see, in my head every time she came over i thought... what if
Haa, finally, a ‘what if’ situation came true. Just my luck it was a shitty one.

Maybe I’m in shock? I don't think so though. I just, saw it coming. I'll fill you guys in later if the situation escalates.



You interested? Well you should be, this is good gossip.

'love'

This seems to be the question.
Once again i found myself gving the advice: 'It will happen when your not lookig for it'
Shittest, but truest advice.
But its got me thinking, why do you need a boyfreind. Its not going to solve any of the shit in your life, having a boyfriend will not magically make everything better. Obviously a relationship would be nice, but i don't think its the awnser to all your problems

I just, dont get.

lalalallalala

I think that one of my best friends is trying to push the rest of us away, because she’s scared that we'll eventually forget about her.  I feel like i'm in a soap,  I mean i have Ray telling me she doesn't feel like shes important to Janelle, and Janelle telling me she doesn't feel like shes important to Ray.
Deadly serious those we're their exact words, and my reply:
'Why are you telling me and not her?'
their reply
'I've tried lalalalallaal' 
Ok thats not a direct quote, but the 'lalallalal' bit represents the bit where i tuned out. Then theres the pressure of exams: everyone seems to be cracking.

On a different note, I like you. Yeah... that’s it. I'm not sure why i go for guys i can't have, but, i like you. So we'll see were this leads.

Oh and i think i scraped a pass in R.S.

Ermm, thats about it.



^ nice picture of a cake to lighten the mood.
Mmmm, blue cake.

Blahblahblah

'' Oh my your legs... wow'' '' Yeah everyones talking about your figure'' '' Your legs are peng''

Thank you, you like my body, but you can't even pronounce my last name. Actually i don't think you know my last name. Some of you didn't know my first name. I was just that girl with the nice legs. Oh I feel special.

I was all for lust when i could count the amount of people i got with on two hands, but now I’ve moved on to my toes; I’m bored. The last kiss that made me feel anything, was a year ago. Out of all these kisses, just one has been any good.

Blahhhhh, a friend of mine summed up how I’m feeling when we were talking about a song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nKaixeNTGc&a=POqzzk25_QQ&playnext_from=ML&playnext=1

'' It sounds happy but really its sad''

YOU CUNTS

I WANT MY STAND DOWN DAY!

''either way i'm staying over at callums, i mean, all the clever poeple are panicing, and all the chavs are just.. *shruggs his shoulders*..''

Allowwwww, i guess i'm a chav.

I'm still getting drunk. You've got to make the best out of a bad situation. I'm still making an effort to come in looking different (just strightened my tangeled mess of fizzy curls), and i'm still going to have fun. It helps that my exam is early so i got the whole day ahead to drink. I mean honestly, its just bcs, i think i can wing it a little bit.

ima badman coz im from Parmiter's, init.

Greece

In a country were everything’s falling apart, is the only place i feel together.
It’s the only place that never changes, well, not really.
I know that when I go back, the house will still be in its comforting dilapidated state. I know that the food will still be delicious. I know that the rusty little cafe opposite the 'park' will still be there. I know the 'Park' with its paved floors and benches will still be there. And there might be some new people, but Betty, Nikos, Caterina, Yota etc will still be there. I love Greece, despite the fact that I stay in a poor little village in the mountains despite so many things, I love it there.

Dono mannn, I guess I associate it with freedom. That and the food is seriously peng.

Fuck me I’m emotional

Philosophical

'How long has it been since someone touched part of you other than your body?' -Terri Guillemets

After Eleanor’s death so much changed around me. But my group -in essence- remained the same, bar one thing: our death letters;
You'll find someone’s in a box shoved in the back of a wardrobe labelled 'key rings'
You'll find someone else’s in the memo section of a blackberry phone,
And you'll find mine in a white envelop, hidden in an old universal thesaurus.
Oddly enough, none of us told each other to write the letters, we just did it. Looking though the blackberry a couple of weeks ago, I found mine; 'zahra, I'm so sorry for leaving you, if I could have given you my strength, I would have...'

So in answer to Guillemets question: a couple of weeks ago in a business studies lesson.



How about you?

'' Look, your a bitch, i'm a bitch-''
'' How am i a bitch, urghhhh''

*throws art folder onto the floor*
* rachael and janelle look around*

''punch herrr, punch herrrr''

'' aha, look, just, truce ok?''
''What do you mean?''
'' I mean, we've been fighting since before i can remeber-''
''No we havn't-''
''Well we fight alot either way!''
''Mmmm''
'' So truce?''
'' What do you mean?''
'' We have 5 days left, lets try not to fight''
'' Yeah, ok, truce''

* both smile and hug each other*

The End.

I'm pathetic.

At the moment I really dislike one of my friends.

Which sounds bad but is true, she’s just, not a very good friend. I know I’m farrrr from perfect; in fact I acted really quite pathetically today. I will admit that, nine days left at school and I’m like 'if she comes Mc Donald’s I’m not going' i didn't know she over heard me, but even so, its pathetic. The thing is, i don’t really enjoy myself when she’s around, when she’s not in one of her black moods ( which she always is, at least to me) she’s having fun at my expense. Then wonders why i do it back to her! Quite frankly I can’t remember who through the first punch, but this war has been going on a long time.

I know its stupid, but i was the only one to put my faith in her when everyone was pissed off, and she through it back in my face at the first opportunity. Not even an 'I’m sorry' or a 'thank you'. Nothing, i guess this war has gone on for so long that our friendship has been pretty much ruined. I'm ok with that.

Again, I know it’s pathetic, but being the bigger person just means I’m letting her get her own way. And I can't do that, because when she gets her own way she becomes even more selfish, loud and obnoxious.

Anyway, why do i always have to be the bigger person? Bad home life doesn't give you an excuse to act like this.

New love started getting closer, my mind went on a rollercoaster

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDs1fkQnbaQ&feature=related

Whoever posted 'Upside down' by Paloma Faith on my Fromspring... Thank you.
I fucking love her. Not going to lie, she's my latest celebrity crush.

Oscar's Party

Blahhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Worst party I’ve ever been to. Don’t get me wrong, it had all the makings of a great night: alcohol, friends, and more alcohol. Instead, it just ended up a bit shit. Literally from the first moment I got there I had to babysit people. I spent the first half of my night looking after Sam, and I spent the other half in the toilet watching Steph be sick, mmmm fun. Then someone knocked over Steph’s glass of water, and a girl got cut on it, Holly I think her name was. Guess who had to clean up the glass, and who got Holly’s blood on their £30 jumper.

Although to be fair, at least it wasn't me who had to go to hospital. And on the plus side, I did find the white version of me: Mary Read. Fun drunken times. So turning some negatives into positives;  i didn't injury myself, i made a new friend and  got 1 man point - Man points are given when you do something brave, normally involving a member of the opposite sex, or y'knoww, the same sex depending on which way you swing. But for me it was the oppsite sex, unfortunately i appear to have collected quite a few man points through out the years.. yeah, erm, anyhoo...                                                                

You know what it was actually a pretty good night, i'm just a whiney little bitch.

laterssssssss ♥